Awakening the Wolf Read online

  “Me? I’m thrilled you said yes. All those times I tried to get close to you to say hello, and you kept passing by me and barely noticing me. . . . And—”

  “I was an idiot because of it. I’m sorry I ever ignored you. I didn’t know.”

  “I know. It’s okay. You should get going. Christopher will be waiting for you.”

  She stopped and stared into Belik’s dark eyes and did not see any rejection or jealousy in them. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “I’m okay with all of this. I want you to be happy. And if this is what makes you happy, then I’m all for it. I won’t let him hurt you.”

  Illiana was taken aback by his dark tone, yet something about it made her feel looked after. He did not have an angry side from what she could tell, but seeing the serious look in his eyes she knew he was being protective of her. “Thank you.” She kissed him again and backed away, letting the robe completely pool to the floor.

  “Beautiful,” Belik whispered.

  With a quick look behind her, she smiled and ran toward the window, feeling her body morphing into the raven form. Even before she leaped over the balcony, the breeze lifted her wings and sent her into an updraft so she was circling around one of the trees, dodging the limbs. Illiana enjoyed the flurry of her wings slicing the air and headed deeper into the wolves’ territory, where they hunted. She wondered if tonight she would sink her teeth into something. The thought of hunting and blood stimulated the wolf. Illiana pulled her wings closer to her body, and she hit the ground on all fours. The shift between forms was something she was getting used to more and more. She was hidden by the shadows, and when she glanced up into the trees, she could sense Belik watching over her.

  Illiana shook her head, hoping not to encounter any wolves. She had been lucky so far. Her aunt had mentioned to her that the pack had rumors of a new wolf roaming the woods. Illiana came out into the clearing and waited for Christopher. It took a few minutes, but she saw him emerge into the clearing. His silver coat shone in the moonlight, and it took her breath away. It brought her back to the night when he had kissed her and told her that he had cared about her and if she could become a wolf, then there might be a chance for them to be together.

  “I wasn’t sure you would come.”

  She approached him slowly, not lowering her gaze or her ears, letting him know that she was not intimidated by him at all. After the first night, he had never demanded it of her again. “Of course I would. Can’t I be a little mysterious?” Illiana bumped her nose against his and licked his muzzle before walking away.

  “You drive me crazy! You know that, right?”

  “I think that’s the whole idea. So what are we doing tonight?”

  “I really shouldn’t be meeting you. My mate to be is getting suspicious of me coming back with another’s scent all over me.”

  She yipped, got down on two legs in a play-bow stance, and wagged her tail. She waited for Christopher to react, the way he normally did, trying to chase her and catch her as they played in the clearing, but he did not. The longing was there in his eyes, so she straightened herself up so she would not look foolish. “I can’t help you there. I never told you to keep coming out here to meet me. I was interested in your pack.”

  “I know. That’s the reason why I spoke to my father about you.”

  “Really? Does he want to run me out of pack territory?” A moment of fear stabbed her, but this was what she had been waiting for.

  “Not to run you away from the territory, but for you to meet the rest of the pack. I’ve told him you’d be a good candidate.”

  “I didn’t think that you would. If I get initiated into the pack, then I guess your mate to be might not appreciate the competition.”

  “You let me worry about that,” Christopher said. There’s a gathering between the wolf clan and the raven flock we share territory with. After that, when the moon is high, we’ll expect you to be there. Do you have a problem with ravens?

  She glanced up at the trees. “They’re wonderful birds, and it’s always good to pool your resources. I expect you want me to show up in human form. Not in fur.”

  “That would be helpful. It’s the only way they’ll think about accepting you. Besides, I’ll be glad to finally see you.”

  Illiana heard a twig snap and saw a movement in the darkness. Before she could react, the breath was knocked out of her and she was on the ground. Jaws were around her neck, and teeth cut into her flesh. She yelped in pain and dug her claws into the furred body on top of her. She wiggled from the weight on top of her, the paws trying to push her under the ground. The fire element raged and provided her inner strength. She broke the grip on her neck and confronted her attacker. It was a gray-and-brown mottled wolf. The look in its golden eyes was pure murder. Her blood stained its teeth. Illiana knew exactly who this was: Jalisa.

  “You dare come after my mate! I’ll kill you, bitch!” Jalisa seethed.

  Her hackles rose, and she bared her teeth at the other wolf. Before she could advance, Christopher stepped between them.

  “You will not hurt her, Jalisa. She’s under pack protection.”

  “Get out of the way. I challenge her.”

  “Jalisa,” Christopher barked. “Don’t do this!”

  She lunged at him and snapped at his neck. “Because you actually want this bitch over me? She smells odd. Haven’t you wondered why that is? She isn’t a normal wolf. I challenge her, Christopher. You know what that means.”

  Christopher looked at Illiana and backed away. “She called a challenge. It doesn’t matter where it is, the challenge must be acted upon if there’s another wolf present.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Illiana flexed her claws and felt the earth give way beneath her feet. Above her she heard a raven caw and knew Belik was watching them. She was not going to die under Jalisa’s fangs. It was the point only to defeat her. “Challenge accepted.” She was taller and had more weight on Jalisa. This was what she had been waiting for. After all the insults she had heard from the other wolf, this time she was going to give it back to her. Illiana leaped on Jalisa, wrapped her legs around her back, and sunk her teeth into the scruff of Jalisa’s back. The other wolf howled in pain, but she wiggled out from underneath Illiana.

  Jalisa tried to pounce on Illiana, but she darted out of the way and circled around. She felt jaws snap on her tail, but she pulled away before Jalisa could do any permanent damage. Illiana kept Jalisa in her sights, but at the same time she felt the wind blow over her pelt. The way it blew around her, she knew it wanted to help her. Before she could ask it, a gust so strong came through the forest that it nearly knocked her off her feet. It staggered the other wolf back a couple of steps. Illiana took advantage and pounced on Jalisa, knocking her down on her back and wrapping her jaws around her throat. The taste of blood came into her mouth. At that moment she knew she could best the other woman. If she bit any further, she would feel her teeth wrap around bone. Just the thought of it made her shiver with anticipation. She barely felt Jalisa’s claws digging into her or her teeth gnawing on her leg. All she was focused on was making the wolf below her stop moving. When she did that, Illiana could have the man she had always wanted and make him part of her life.

  She bit deeper and planted one of her paws on Jalisa’s stomach, gouging a wound in the sensitive flesh. The wolf beneath her stopped struggling. The fire element in her sang with the joy of knowing her rival was squashed. Another raven cry sounded above her. This time it was one of alarm. Belik must have seen the whole display. Something bumped her hindquarter. She did not look up at first until another bump threw her off Jalisa. Illiana reacted by spinning around to face the wolf and show her teeth. It took her a moment to realize it was Christopher and not another wolf. She planted her feet and felt her hackles rise. He was not going to meet her challenge.

  “I’m not here to stake a claim on your prey. You won the challenge. Jalisa has been humiliated.” />
  “Defeated or not, she’ll come after me again. I will not have that.”

  “She had every right to challenge you because she saw you as a threat. To kill her would bring down my wrath and that of my pack, and I don’t want to see that. She and I will both know that you bested her. It will stay with her. I doubt she will challenge you again.”

  Illiana heard the resolve in Christopher’s voice. She wasn’t sure if he was sad because she had defeated Jalisa or he was finally seeing how she truly was broken. But she also heard the warning. If she had done the final step, then there would be no place for her in the pack and she would never get what she wanted. She was not going to jeopardize her chance. She glanced back at Jalisa and saw she had transformed into human form. She was bloody and crying on the forest floor, curled into a ball. Everything in her wanted to go back over there and humiliate her, but instead she went over and licked her arm.

  Jalisa looked at her and sniffled. “Go away.”

  Illiana saw the hurt and the defeat in the other woman’s eyes. For the first time, she felt a little sorry for her. She ran her tongue over Jalisa’s neck, trying to clean the wound.

  “I’m not your enemy.”

  Christopher came over in his human form and knelt by Jalisa. He drew her up into his arms and held her. “She’ll be fine. Thank you for not . . . well, thank you. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

  “Will I still be welcomed after what I did to her?”

  “I’ll make sure the pack knows what happened.”

  Illiana watched Christopher walk away. Relief washed over her. When she walked into the shadows, feeling a sense of reprieve come over her, she turned back into her human form. Disbelief and triumph ran through her. She had taken down one of her enemies, and she was going to be considered to join the pack. The fire danced through her, and it felt like she could set the whole forest alight. It could burn down around her, and she would never know the difference. “Was that what you expected?” Belik asked.

  She saw him leaning against one of the trees. “You saw?”

  He nodded. “I did.”

  “Are you angry?”

  “Angry that you pounced on her or that you nearly tried to kill her?” he asked.

  “Jalisa challenged me. I didn’t have a choice. If I didn’t take the challenge, then I would have been thought a weakling in the eyes of the other wolves. It never would’ve gotten me what I wanted, and Jalisa would’ve thought she could run over me all the time. I couldn’t have that. The wolves are different than us. If you show you have any weakness at all, they take advantage of that. Would you rather have me a lone wolf that doesn’t have a home?”

  He placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I can’t help but be a little jealous of you being with Christopher. I know I said that I was okay with you pursuing this, and I am. To think you want to be in his arms and not mine . . . Seeing you fighting and putting yourself in danger. Getting hurt and . . . ” Belik stopped and shook his head.

  Illiana knew how much he cared for her and put her hands on his face, feeling the smoothness of his skin. She kissed his lips lightly and stroked his cheek. “I don’t want this to hurt you. I don’t want you to feel that you’re being left out of my life. I wouldn’t share myself with you if I didn’t love you.”

  His eyes widened. “You love me?”

  The words had slipped from her mouth before she realized she had said them. He had worked his way into her heart more than she ever thought was possible. Now all she wanted was to make him happy, too. “I do. As much as I love Christopher, if that’s possible to split your heart into several pieces and love a person the same way with all their might.”

  “What happens if you do all of this, get into the pack, get what you want, and Christopher decides he doesn’t desire you for a mate? Or he stays with Jalisa? There are still so many things that could go wrong. I only ask because I want to be sure you will be happy in the long run. You are putting all your hopes into this scheme of yours.”

  “Then I have you. I know there are risks. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll find somewhere else to go. There is a big world out there.”

  “What if I don’t want to leave here? Would you stay?”

  She sighed. The wind wrapped around her and lifted her off her feet. Illiana floated a few inches off the ground and tried to relax in the caress of the wind. Belik chuckled. The sound made her fall back to earth. The fire inside of her kept her warm. She wished it was something she could share with Belik. Maybe there was a way he could. Although he had asked her if she would stay if that was something he wanted. He was a part of the flock when she might never really be considered a true member.

  “I would stay if that is what you chose. I would have to finish my training with Coret. My abilities are not tolerated within the flock. If they ever find out about me being able to turn into a wolf—”

  “Won’t they if you’re accepted into the pack?” Belik asked.

  She nodded. “Yeah. I hadn’t thought of that, but I can deal with it. It would be best for me to become a priest and live in an aerie near the outskirts of the village. Not sure how many people will want to be around me, but I want to be a useful member of the flock.”

  He kissed her and ran his finger along her breast. She hissed in a breath and quaked from the pleasure. “At least your mother likes me.”

  “Yeah, which is a good thing, but you still haven’t introduced me to your father.”

  Belik winced at the statement. “That’s a whole other subject we haven’t broached. I’ve spoken to him about you, but he isn’t too happy that I want to be your mate. I was going to announce it to the flock at the ceremony that we have with the wolves, but it might be best to wait.”

  She felt her skin redden, and the flush of fire spread through her entire body. Illiana placed a hand on his chest and saw the goose bumps on his flesh. “Are you cold?”

  “A little.”

  She bit her lip. “Can I try something with you?”

  “All right.”

  Illiana closed her eyes and called upon the essence of the fire. It ran through her body until she was completely engulfed in it. His heartbeat vibrated underneath her palm. She could feel the river of his life pulsing though his veins. Belik took in a breath and the more she concentrated, she could feel the air passing over his lungs.

  “What—”

  “Shh,” she shushed him and saw the fire in her mind. Illiana worked it from her heart where it had settled and moved it down her arm until she cupped the warmth. From there, she envisioned a ball of fire and pushed it into Belik’s chest and saw it spreading through his system. He hissed in a breath, and she opened her eyes.

  “Does that hurt?”

  He shook his head and held her hand over his heart. “I’m warm. How did you?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was curious to see if I could. It’s something to do with the elements. They’re more than just something I can control. I think they’re inside of me. I could feel you breathing. I mean feeling the actual air going into your lungs. I don’t know. The more I use the elements, the more . . . I don’t know. Something seems missing. I can’t explain it.”

  “Well, I’m sure it has something to do with you and your need to be with the wolves as well. I can’t deny the other side of you, Illiana. I might get jealous and worry, but you can take care of yourself. I’ll be with you no matter what.”

  The love she felt for him engulfed her, and she prayed that everything would go her way. Once the full moon rose, she would see. “Thank you.”

  Chapter Eight

  “So tonight’s the night.”

  Illiana turned and saw her aunt standing in the doorway of her room as she tried to pin her hair back. It was down to the small of her back, and she thought about cutting it. “What do you mean?” she asked.

  Coret flashed her a secretive smile. “There’s talk the pack is looking to accept a new member. I’ve heard gossip about a black wolf roa
ming the forest and something about Jalisa being beaten by this mysterious wolf. Even the other ravens are talking about it, but the wolf priests are curious who this strange creature is. They are considering it might be a sign of great change among the wolf pack. I’m not sure they’re going to do well with the induction of a new member into the pack.”

  Illiana walked over to her aunt and peered into the hallway to search for her mother. She listened, and there was no one else in the house. “Christopher doesn’t know it’s me. After our celebration tonight, I have to go before the whole pack and see if they want me. I can’t walk in there and expect them to think I’m the one. I have to look different to at least get me in there.” Coret smiled. “Good thing tonight we’re all wearing masks. I have something for you.” She pulled out a drape of cloth and a mask from her bag. The mask was a mishmash of feathers and fur over a leather cutout that had been shaped but wasn’t too stiff. Illiana held it up to her eyes and saw it really was a blending of the two animals that was neither wolf nor raven. “And this too. I made it for your mating, but I think you might want to wear it now.”

  Illiana placed the mask on her dressing table and took the garment. It was all black with tiny, clear glass beads sewn into the material that was silky and soft. She unwound her robe and slipped the black dress on. It had a full skirt and it tied at the waist. The neckline plunged, showing off her the tops of her breasts. The sleeves were flowing and left open, tied with only a little bit of material, which gave her room to move and also billowed when she walked. It didn’t cling to her. The skirt fell to above her ankles with four slits allowing it to move when she walked and danced. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”

  “It looks beautiful on you. One last thing.” Coret pulled out a vial of oil and dabbed a few drops along her throat and down the line of her breasts. The fragrance reached Illiana’s nose. It smelled like sandalwood, roses, and some other deep spice she could not place. “Wolves have a great sense of smell. Don’t want him to be figuring you out right away.”