Gods and Frogs, Oh My!

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  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, events and characters are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Gods and Frogs, Oh My!

  Copyright©2009 Crymsyn Hart

  ISBN 978-1-60054-352-4

  Dark Fantasy

  Cover art and design by Anastasia Rabiyah

  All rights reserved. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.

  Published by

  loveyoudivine 2009

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  Gods and Frogs, Oh My!

  by

  Crymsyn Hart

  Prologue

  “Are you thinking about the orange penis you conjured again?”

  Kalliope turned from the window and looked at Morgaine. She was petite, hardly more than five two, with long, dark hair and piercing green eyes. Those eyes held a lot of wisdom Kalliope was trying to learn. She had met the sorceress when her coven sisters brought her over to the apartment. Morgaine had been disguised as the Goth chick from hell. After the circle, Kalliope had lost a batch of candles due to some unknown explosion. She was still scraping bits of wax off the ceiling from that night. Once the sorceress had helped her hone her magick, they had become fast friends. “What? No! I was not thinking about Lugh,” she replied.

  “I didn’t ask you about Lugh. See! You’re not paying attention to me again!”

  “I was too—I-I was just thinking. Did you ask me about an orange? I thought you were showing me astrology.”

  Morgaine threw up her hands. “I’m trying, but you’re still discovering ways at being a magickal pain in my ass.”

  “I can’t help it if my brain doesn’t wrap around the movements of the planets. I’m lucky I passed Math 101 in college.” Kalliope studied the starcharts laid out on the table. They were gibberish to her. All the lines, mapping the constellations and planets, appeared to be some 3-D picture. When she was a kid, math was her worst subject. She was a whiz at making candles and crafts, which was how she made her living, but anything technical was way beyond her scope.

  “None of this makes any sense. Why do I need to learn this again?” She swept her arm over the diagrams.

  “Any good witch needs to know the movements of the stars, especially now that you’re a full fledged witch.”

  Kalliope stared at Morgaine. Now that she was magickal, every imp, fairy, troll, etc. in the world was knocking on her door for something or other. Thank God she had an ex-goddess living with her to fend them off.

  “Are the stars going to predict when I’m going to have some free time? Can they tell me when I’ll have time to do my hair again?”

  Morgaine glanced at her. “Any dye job you get won’t cover up the red. You’re magickal now. Unless you want to do a glamour on your hair, it’s not going to change by any mortal means. Besides, the red looks good on you. I thought Lugh liked it.”

  “Great. There goes all the hair dye I just bought. He does, but —”

  “Oh no! It can’t be!” Morgaine’s finger traced over a line connecting two planets.

  When Kalliope took a closer look, the map burst into flames. “I didn’t do it. I swear,” she said, fanning away the smoke away. The drawing was a complete loss. Nothing else on the table was touched.

  “I know you didn’t. At least you’ve gotten past the point that whenever you cast spells something explodes.”

  “What was that all about?”

  Morgaine grabbed an oversized book and flipped through the brittle pages. She laid it flat on the table and ran her finger over an entry. The words rearranged themselves into English. She read the entry over the sorceress’s shoulder. A short paragraph told about the Furies, goddesses who were imprisoned in the Underworld. If unleashed, they spilled wrath on those who broke natural law. Underneath the entry was a picture of women with big bat wings, serpents for hair, and the feet of a dog. “Those chicks look real friendly. Who are they?”

  Morgaine closed the book. “They’re bad news. That’s what. Nothing you have to worry about.”

  “But—”

  “Why don’t we forget about the astrology for now and focus on your spell casting?”

  “You know I hate to do spells.”

  “What kind of a witch hates to do spells? What’s the point of you having magick? I give up!” The sorceress grabbed the book and walked out of the room. The air rippled where she disappeared. Probably back to her apartment in the real world. Kalliope went to follow.

  “You rang?”

  Kalliope turned to the familiar voice to find Lugh, naked as usual and very happy to see her. She giggled and thanked the gods for the fiery accident that drove Morgaine away and summoned the sun god.

  “When will you ever cover that thing up?” she asked, forgetting about the debacle with her friend.

  “You know you love it!” Lugh gave her one of his beaming smiles, almost blinding her. The god took her in his arms and kissed her. Once their lips touched, warmth flooded her system. Her toes curled. She had to pull away to keep from being overwhelmed. He put a whammy on her every time he caressed her. She had to concentrate not to tumble into an orgasm. She looked up at him, breathless, feeling flushed.

  “You have got to stop doing that!”

  “Doing what?” He innocently batted his eyes at her.

  She hit him lightly on the chest, making the god smile even more. Before she knew it, Kalliope was falling and landing atop something luxuriously soft. When she looked around, she was surrounded by mounds of pillows. Lugh loved to wow her. Knowing him he had conjured them out of thin air. A shiver ran through her when her clothes vanished making her naked as well.

  “You just love doing that to me, don’t you?”

  “Oh yes,” he whispered against the curve of her neck. “And so much more.”

  What am I going to do with you? she thought.

  Anything you want, he answered.

  Chapter One

  “Aaachoo!” Kalliope sneezed. There was slight vibration underneath her. That’s strange. Did the couch just jump?

  “Bless you,” said one of the expectant mothers sitting next to her.

  “Thanks.” She dabbed her nose.

  Theresa caught Kalliope’s eye and smiled sympathetically. She took in the eight women who were all very pregnant, each one of them ready to pop, including Theresa.

  Her best friend had come to her at the last minute, saying her shop was still drying from paint and the fumes would knock out the other women. Home wasn’t good either because Stan was having poker night, which would turn into the boys playing drunken twister and ending up passed out in Theresa’s clothes and makeup. She couldn’t turn down her coven sister/best friend. Not when Kalliope was the backup if Theresa went into labor. She even had a small suitcase of her friend’s stuff in her car, just in case.

  Kalliope tried to smile at her friend who came back into the living room carrying the third refill tray of goodies which included chocolate, pickles, whipped cream, peanut butter covered bananas, and sardines. Yuck! The combination turned her stomach. From the amount the women ate, it was a good thing her kitchen magickally self-stocked itself because of Lugh. If she wanted anything, all she had to do was write it on the list on the fridge and it showed up. Okay, some things were still screwy. She never wound up with her favorite ice cream, which w
as chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough. The invisible grocer gave her chocolate chip instead. Kalliope wasn’t complaining.

  “So ladies, does everyone have their nurseries ready to go?” Theresa set down the tray.

  “Oh yeah. Mine is all done in blue with white, puffy clouds.”

  “Mine is Disney. What’s yours, Theresa?”

  “Aaachooo!” Kalliope sneezed again.

  “I think the baby kicked.”

  “Yeah mine too.” There were other agreeing nods from the group.

  Her eyes widened when she spied the chair next to her floating with a pregnant woman in it who didn’t seem to notice she was a few inches off the ground. Theresa followed Kalliope’s gaze. The chair fell.

  “Wow, those pickles must be getting to the baby,” said the resident of the chair when it landed.

  Theresa grabbed Kalliope and dragged into her bedroom. “Excuse me, ladies. Help yourself to the goodies.” The snacks were already half gone.

  “Kal, is there something you’re not telling me?” Theresa asked, sitting down on the bed.

  Kalliope took a tissue from her bureau and blew her nose. “Nope. Nothing that I can think of.”

  “So, the chair levitated all on its own without you knowing about it?”

  “Thanks, Ter! You think I made it hover on purpose? Yes. I really want to scare a bunch of pregnant women who are eating me out of house and home. No offense.”

  “Sorry. I thought you had the magick stuff under control. None of your spells are exploding again, are they?” Theresa patted her belly.

  After three miscarriages, Theresa was finally having a baby. Her New Age shop was booming. Now that Kalliope was a witch, the magick rubbed off on her coven sisters also. This would explain why Anna and Adele had both won two-week vacations to Mexico on different radio stations and ended up at the same hotel.

  “So if this wasn’t planned, what’s causing it?”

  Kalliope shrugged. “Achoo.” At the end of the sneeze, the bed drifted off the ground before landing with a loud thud.

  “I think you’re coming down with something. Has Lugh been taking you skinny dipping again?”

  Kalliope blushed. “He—we—yes, but only for a little bit last night. I had to get out of the water because I thought something bit me. Lugh swore there was no fish, but something nibbled my butt.”

  “I’m sure that something bit you all right. It’s the love bug! When are we going to meet him anyway?”

  Kalliope went to sneeze again. The bed shuddered. She stopped the sneeze and looked innocently at her friend. Theresa let out a sigh. “You will. I promise. He just—it’s hard to get him in clothes. Besides—”

  “He likes to keep you all to himself. At least he’s not like Quince. Did I tell you he came into the shop the other day?”

  “Was he with the tits with legs?”

  Her friend nodded.

  “Great. Glad to hear the ass is doing well. Yes, I think you’re right. I’m coming down with some-some-achhoo!” Kalliope sniffled. This time her whole bedroom suite rose about a foot off the ground. It shook the apartment when it landed.

  “I’m going to get the girls and tell them you aren’t feeling well. I don’t think they would understand levitating furniture. God forbid me trying to explain your re-stocking kitchen cabinets.”

  “Thanks, Theresa. I’m sorry. I guess when witches get sick, funky things start to happen. I’ll ask Flidais when she gets back from Avalon. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay. She’s kicking up a storm today. I can’t wait. I-I—” Her friend broke into tears. Kalliope gave her a hug. She knew how long and hard Theresa had tried for their child.

  “I know, hon. Everything will be fine. I promise. I’ll make sure there will be fairies there when you bring them home. How does that sound?”

  “I thought you said fairies were nasty little creatures with furry tails.”

  “Okay, so I’ll get something else for the babies. Promise. You name it. I’ll get it.”

  “You’re serious.”

  Kalliope nodded.

  “Hmm. I’ll have to think of something good. And why do you keep on insisting I’m having twins? You’ve seen the sonograms. There is only uno. Only one baby.”

  “I’m just telling you what I see. You got two buns in your oven. I don’t care what the docs are telling you.”

  “Whatever. Crazy.” Her friend got up off the bed and headed out the door. In a few minutes, Kalliope heard the group waddling out, and her front door closed.

  Once the latch clicked, Kalliope let out another sneeze. When the bed landed, a tingle seized her back. She had to bite her lip because she was flushed. When she felt her forehead, she wasn’t hot. Her body craved Lugh in a very naughty way that would make her do erotic things to him.

  In her mind, she took his engorged manhood between her lips. He moaned low in his throat while her tongue stroked his silky shaft. He tensed against her. She grabbed the round muscles of his butt. Right when he was about to come, she gave him one last, long, tantalizing lick, tracing the enlarged vein of his penis. Then she released him from her mouth, leaving him on the brink of wanting her so badly it hurt. After she stood, she gently took his bottom lip between her teeth and sucked on it until her tongue met his. His hands were all over her. But she wasn’t going to give herself over to him easily. He would have to work for her returned affection. His hands would worship her body, while his tongue explored all her secret temples.

  Kalliope swallowed hard. The more she fantasized about Lugh, the more her lust burned through her. Sitting on the bed, her head spun. Her whole body lit up where Lugh had stroked her in the past. Phantom echoes of his caresses fired up her skin. Her nose was stuffy. She wanted to sneeze again. The need for Lugh overwhelmed her senses. If she didn’t have him soon, she would ignite from the burn.

  Kalliope curled up in a ball, not able to take the agony. She bit her lip. “Lugh, I need you.” Her body’s desires inundated her. She clutched the sheet to her chest and nearly found herself in tears from the craving coursing through her.

  “And I need you too,” he whispered against her ear.

  She turned in the bed. There was the sun god. Hair the color of autumn and bright green eyes met her gaze. He was sculpted in all the right places, and her body fit against his. They were made for one another. She wrapped her arms around his neck and locked her lips locked to his. Her hands searched his body until they reached his butt, which she squeezed. It took a moment for the god to respond. When he did, it was with the intensity she was going after him with. She didn’t have to say what she desired because he knew everything she thought. Why am I acting so wantonly?

  All Kalliope could think of was getting him deep inside of her until his power lit her up from the inside out. One touch, at the base of her spine, blasted open her chakra points, filling her mind with the power of the universe. From the moment he entered her, she let out a primal, deep throated scream. The need she had for him was completed. Her whole body was a lightning rod for his touch. In one long wave, an orgasm ripped through her.

  Lugh looked down at her while he rested on his elbow. After catching her breath, Kalliope looked back at him. “What?”

  He smiled. “Nothing. It’s just…you’ve never been so aggressive.”

  “Is that such a bad thing?”

  “I didn’t say that. It’s just different. Is everything okay?”

  Kalliope sat up. When she did, she felt better. Weird. “Yeah. I thought I was coming down with something, but I guess I’m better now.” She leaned in and kissed him again. “How are things with you?”

  “They’re good, but even better when I’m with you. Kalli, you’ve bewitched me. None of the others I’ve been with compare to you. When I’m not with you, I want to be. I want you all to myself. I know that’s wrong, but I crave you. Do you feel the same way for me?”

  “You know I do.”

  Lugh kissed her, catching her tongue with the tip of
his. His fingers traced designs over the expanse of her stomach, tickling her. Kalliope squirmed underneath him. Finally, he broke the kiss so she could catch her breath. “You’re such a tease!”

  “I know. Dagda sends his love. He says he wants you to sneak him in some coffee next time you have a chance. He says life is awfully boring without you there to cheer him up.”

  Kalliope couldn’t help but giggle. Dagda was Lugh’s grandfather and another walking dreamboat. He was also addicted to caffeine. Whenever he got some, he went completely bonkers. He was the leader of all the Celtic Gods. Before Kalliope had met Lugh, she was a regular pagan who believed in more than one god. She was never specific as to what pantheon she summoned into her circles, be it Celtic, Greek, Egyptian, or whatever. She went with the flow of the ritual.

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I don’t want to be blamed for him turning into a palm tree. I’m still the talk of the magickal realm from eating those three Oak Apples. All I need is to do something else and have other gods on my ass.”

  “Speaking of apples. Are you hungry?” Lugh asked.

  Kalliope nodded. She was ravenous. The more she thought about it, the more the witch realized she was starving for Lugh. She could go another twenty rounds and not feel satisfied by him. That was very, very strange. She shook it off and followed the god into the kitchen, deciding not to put on her robe. She was getting used to the naked thing with Lugh. However, it was still very distracting. Her eyes never strayed from either his perfectly rounded derriere or his magnificent anatomy.

  Kalliope was in heaven with her lover. Her ex, Quince, was never comfortable with himself. All he wanted to do was please others—which was why he started boffing the tits with legs. It had broken Kalliope’s heart to walk in on the two of them performing the nasty in her bed. Thank God she didn’t have to worry about him anymore.

  Lugh opened her fridge and pulled out a tray of chocolate covered strawberries she knew were not in their before. The fruits were bigger than her hand, and the tray was pure gold. The stem and the green leaves peeked out from under the mixtures of dark, white, and milk chocolate. She couldn’t resist licking her lips.